All Is It, All Is It // A Grateful Heart

If you had told me two years ago that I would know what it would be like to lose five close family members in a two year time frame, I probably would have said that you were crazy. To have that be my family’s reality is heartbreaking. In two years, my Dad’s family went from a family of five to what will soon be a family of two and my mom lost her mother and her baby sister.

The past few days have been spent in a sense of limbo as my Grandmother’s time of Earth draws to a close. It’s not easy to be anticipating a phone call at any moment from your Dad to let you know if your Grandmother is still here. One of the things that I learned from losing my maternal grandmother and aunt is that the only way to get through something like this is learn how to praise God through the storm. Two years ago, I didn’t know how to do that. I’m still learning how to do it, to be honest,

But on Friday evening, after my Dad called to ask if I had anything I wanted to say to my Grandmother while I still had the chance, I rejoiced in our God and praised him as I mourned the loss that would be coming soon. I am not particularly eloquent when it comes to these types of conversations (although I don’t know that anyone really is), the one thing I knew I needed to say to my Grandmother was “I love you, all as it, all as it.” It’s something that my Grandmother always said to all of us throughout the years. She said that my uncle used to say that to her, but I always remember the sweet words coming from her. As I was writing in my journal later, something that I had felt compelled to do after hanging up the phone, I had my Christian playlist on Spotify on in the background and I worshiped God and rejoiced in his hope and truth. We might not see her, or my four other family members, again on this side of Heaven, but I am so grateful for a God that gives us hope in an everlasting life.

On Saturday, I rediscovered a passage from 1 Peter that so perfectly puts into words everything that I have been feeling and rejoicing during this season; particularly since losing my maternal grandmother and aunt in September. I am so grateful for the complete and total truth in these words and what they mean for us.