Faith – Page 2

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Change // I Will Follow

December 15, 2016

Change is hard.

I know, you’re probably like, Hey Ashley, way to state the obvious there.

There’s good change, of course, and there’s also bad changes. There’s also change that you’re just not quite sure how to feel about.

I find myself in that camp more often than not.

#allthefeels.

When it comes to spiritual change, also known as spiritual growth, that’s one that is particularly difficult to process. Spiritual growth makes you finally stop and look at that reflection in the mirror and take a long hard look at your life and your relationship with God. It forces you to celebrate the areas where you have grown and acknowledge the areas where you are still in desperate need of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Lately, I have been feeling a little bit stagnant within my church community and have been wrestling with a lot of feelings about it. I’ve been attending this church for just over two years and God definitely brought me to that place at the perfect time.Continue Reading

Identity Crisis

December 9, 2016

I want this space to be a place of joy. A place for encouragement and dare I hope, a little inspiration.

Writing brings me joy. It centers me in ways that I never expected and lets me process all the things that my mind tends to jumble up into one giant, well, mess. I only wish that I had realized this penchant for writing words sooner.

I’ve rebelled for so long against the idea of sharing anything overly personal on this blog for awhile now and I don’t even know if it was a conscious decision. Sure, I’ve shared of the grief that I experienced in Fall of 2015 when I lost my grandmother and my aunt but not much else. This blog was quickly turning into a blog that was centered around grief and loss and I had skipped right on over the “getting to know you” stuff. If you scroll back through my archives, it’s almost laughable at how random and sporadic my posts were.

When I was in the midst of that season of loss, I can’t tell you how many moments of joy and gratitude there were between me and God. It was truly beautiful. So many of the promises that He made in Scripture were being played out in my life and for the first time, I felt true joy in the Lord and in His amazing strength. I was so overcome that I wanted to write about it. I wanted to share that with others but I began to try and do that in glossy, picture-perfect ways. I wanted my blog to look like so many of the other blogs out there and share things the way that so many others did. But in doing that, I skipped over one of the most important parts.

The journey.Continue Reading

Looking for Clarity

November 29, 2016

I don’t know that I really know how to write for this blog anymore.

I thought that I did for the better part of the past year, but here I find myself again. Consistently struggling to find the words to write for this space so that it doesn’t just become another idle corner of the internet.

When I initially entered the “blogging world”, I wrote about my favorite books, movies, and TV shows and I learned what I know about social media and writing on the internet from contributing and running fansites. But as time went on, I came to see that I wasn’t necessarily being sustained or fulfilled by doing all of that. I created this particular blog as an “escape” from the pop culture world and thought I’d just keep it as an online journal of sorts. But my posts were few and far between and I came close to deleting the site on many occasions. Later in 2014, when God really began to change my heart and my life, I realized that this outlet could be a good outlet for my walk with Christ and for sharing the things that God brings into my life and used to teach me.

My life at that time was going through some major changes. From late 2013 to January 2016, it felt as though my life was experiencing earthquake after earthquake. Each family member that we lost shook things up, crumbling away the misguided and detrimental parts of my life so that God could refine and reshape what was left standing. Each wave of grief was like an aftershock, molding things even further.Continue Reading

In Between

October 28, 2016

You may have noticed this space has been a little sparse lately.

To be perfectly honest, friends, I haven’t wanted to write here for some time and that has been so hard. This blog is like a sanctuary to me. In many ways, my heart and my soul have been bared in this space over the past year as God both wrecked me and restored me.

Since I began to blog about things more personal, rather than the superficial pop culture articles I wrote back when I first started blogging all those years ago, I’ve learned something about myself.

It’s really hard for me to write on a whim.

As much as I wish I could pop out post after post that both inspires and encourages, I just can’t. Try as I might, I just can make this space look like the rest of the lifestyle blogs out there who have seemed to master weaving their faith together with topical/promotional posts.

When the Lord moves me, I write. When He teaches me, I write.

It’s not that the Lord hasn’t been teaching me in this absence. On the contrary, He has been working so hard in me these last few weeks.

This school year is hard. The Lord has entrusted 16 children into my care this year and oh, how their needs are overwhelming. I long to have all of the answers and somehow find the magical intervention and visual aid that will solve the developmental and behavioral struggles we face.

I am weary. By Friday afternoon, I am lucky to be able to string coherent thoughts together. Hence why the post is a little on the ramble-y side.Continue Reading

What the Mountain Teaches

September 24, 2016

For me, going to the mountains has always felt like going home. My heart and my soul just work a little easier when my body is breathing in the fresh, mountain air. My mind eases it’s racing and my lungs exhale a little deeper.

I consider myself wholly blessed to have been able to live in the Blue Ridge Mountains of North Carolina for four years of my young adult life. I attended Appalachian State University, just a stone’s throw away from the Blue Ridge Parkway and Grandfather Mountain, in Boone, North Carolina. I’d gaze up to the tops of the surrounding mountain peaks as I walked to my classes and I’d sled down many a hill when the snow kept classes from being held.

Everything just seems to be a little clearer, easier even, when on mountain time.

A few weeks ago over Labor Day weekend, this special sense of relaxation found me just in time; amid a sea of assignment due dates and a million back to school tasks for my classroom. This choice was my own, to be both a teacher and a student, but the hustle and bustle of this season still takes me by surprise two years in. A year of pursuing a master’s degree in social media marketing followed by my choice to pursue a much better suited career as a child life specialist. Two years of wearing two hats at once. For most teachers, back to school season means long hours preparing for your new class but when you’ve got end of semester papers out the wazoo it all gets overwhelming very quickly. I become chained to my laptop and burdened by the hands on the clock that still have not found a way to slow down to let me get more done. I worked on my eight page paper right up to the hour before we hopped in the car to leave, hitting submit with a sigh of relief so that I could go and throw some clothes in a bag. As we inched closer to our destination, I mentally prepared myself to disconnect. The second we turn off of Interstate 77, our cell signal and access to the outside world disappears. And on this particular day, my entire being exhaled.

I Love You, a Bushel and a Peck

September 17, 2016

It’s hard to believe that it has already been a year since everything changed. In some ways, it feels like yesterday and in others it seems as if it were a lifetime ago. From December 2013 to January 2016, I lost six of my close family members but it’s these losses, these two in September 2015, that grabbed a hold of me and crumbled every wall and every barrier that I hadn’t even realized I had built. One year ago, not long after this post will go live, I stood at the foot of my grandmother’s hospital bed as she left this world for God’s kingdom. Less than 48 hours later, I stood outside of her house at 1:45 in the morning as her youngest daughter, my Aunt Shelia, joined her.

Grandma & a Baby Ashley

My grandmother was one of the strongest women that I know and to know my grandmother was to be loved by her. She raised her ten children to be the best aunts and uncles (and mom) I could ever wish for, something she did primarily on her own. Though her first taste of work was growing up on a tobacco farm, she worked as a waitress, a cook, a hairdresser, and a third-shift textile worker to help support them before eventually settling into her role with an organization that provided residential services to adults in the community with intellectual disabilities. She loved on her clients just as she loved on her own family, something that I hope I carry on in my own current role as a teacher to children with special needs. And although she had 15 grandchildren, she had a unique way of making each of us feel special when we were with her.

Wreck My Life

August 1, 2016

Sometimes it just amazes me at the ways in which God orchestrates certain things so that they all come together at exactly the right moment for exactly the right people. It’s pretty much been the story of my life for the past couple of years but it’s also how I feel about Mo Isom’s book, Wreck My Life. This book and Mo’s incredible story came to me exactly when it needed to and left me truly inspired and encouraged by each and every word.

Up until recently, I really wasn’t familiar with Mo Isom or her incredible story, I actually just happened on this book one day as I was scrolling through Twitter. Annie Downs, another (amazing) Christian author, tweeted that everyone should check out Wreck My Life and mentioned something about a launch team. It grabbed my attention and I saw that to apply for the launch team, you just had to send Mo a direct message on Instagram. So, I snapped a quick selfie with the caption “this is my excited face” and sent along my information. I’ll do anything for a book, apparently. A few days later, I got a selfie back from Mo and she said that I was a part of the Wreck My Life launch team so clearly my not-so-inner dork prevailed.Continue Reading

True Thanksgiving

July 26, 2016

Last week, I found myself attending a funeral for a member of the church family at my childhood church. We celebrated the life of a sweet lady who was so instrumental to the life of the church and whose son was a friend of my dad. It was a beautiful service and led me to reflect on the past year and the three funerals that I have attended for my own family members in that time.

During the service, some time was spent reflecting on the act of giving thanks to God and it was said, “when we experience true thanksgiving, we allow ourselves to be open to the reality of what God can do.”

Open to the reality of what God can do.

Isn’t that just a beautiful statement? And it paints an even more beautiful image of joy and hope. There are many things that I discovered about the experience of losing loved ones as I’ve journeyed down this path for the past two and a half years. One of them being that, no matter how much it may defy your logic, it is certainly possible to experience joy and gratitude in the face of immense sorrow.

The experience of grief is a choice. Whether or not we experience grief is not one of them, for we all must do that, but we certainly have a choice in how we experience it. And I firmly believe that there is no right or wrong way to experience grief as long as Jesus is our anchor.Continue Reading

Joyful in All Times // Joy in the Mess Series {Guest Post}

June 30, 2016

Life is almost always a mess. Even if it’s a more positive one, a mess usually needs to be dealt with. I often do not deal with messes well: they can usually signal a change and I really do not like change. A mess can mean uncertainty and interruption and I really do not like when life is uncertain and interrupted.

For a long time, I have lived quite snuggly in my own comfort zone. I had told many people I would never move away from our small (ish) coastal town. I was happy and comfortable in my predictable, uneventful, certain life.

But, it appears God has had other plans. This year has become the year my life gets a messy upheaval. Trusting God really was opening a door for me, I made the decision that would take me away from my comfort zone, provide enough uncertainties to set off panic attacks, and say good-bye to a predictable routine. I had decided to commit to travel overseas for 6 months. The idea is exciting. But the process is messy. For myself, a melancholy, joy is not a natural reaction for me especially in messes.

Two months ago my house was a complete and utter mess. I watched on as box after box was filled up and taped shut. Each box was weighed and carefully manoeuvred over to the lounge room corner where our DVD shelves once sat. Nothing was normal about our house anymore, and nothing was normal about our lives.

Except mess.Continue Reading

He Will Make Straight Your Paths // An Update

June 22, 2016

For much of the past few months or so, my life has very much felt like it’s been a constant cycle of change. I got pretty used to feeling a little unsteady as God did His good work in me; refining and reshaping all that I was used to. Between my career, my personal life, and my family there has been nothing steady about the past couple of years.

The Bible reminds us in Psalm 94, “When I said, ‘My foot is slipping,’ your unfailing love, Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.” – Psalm 94:18-19, NIV

It was around this time last year when I returned to this space in hopes to establish myself as a lifestyle blogger after years as an entertainment and pop culture blogger. Because of that background, I was enrolled in marketing classes and ready to pursue a master’s degree in social media marketing and had committed myself to that path. But then, life happened. In the midst of my third semester of grad school, my family and I entered into a season that led to us losing four family members in four months. In the time since those first of these losses last September, I don’t know that I’ve really talked extensively about where God has been leading me over the past few months.

I was pursuing marketing last year because of my time and experience as an entertainment blogger. I had been able to interview actors, authors, and directors because of the connections made and you better believe I could have gotten used to a life that was full of paid trips to film sets, movie premieres, and press junkets. Who wouldn’t want something like that? Shortly after I attended the 2014 Divergent premiere in Hollywood, I had the opportunity to travel to Beverly Hills and interview award-winning author Lois Lowry and the cast of The Giver, one of my favorite childhood books, and I began to really consider what opportunities like this could mean for my life down the road. I had been blessed with some amazing opportunities during my run as a fansite blogger, but I didn’t realize at the time that I was selfishly craving the bright lights and the glamour.Continue Reading

For Mother Emanuel

June 17, 2016

It happened one year ago today, the tragedy inside of a church in Charleston, South Carolina. It was senseless, it was evil, and my heart still hurts for this city today. Charleston is a beautiful city that is full of rich history, beautiful buildings, and the most gracious and hospitable people you’d ever find. Charleston is only a three hour drive from Charlotte and in the hours following the attack inside Mother Emanuel, there was a manhunt for the shooter that ended with him being apprehended in a small town just 30 minutes from where I live. For those of us here in the Charlotte area, there was a special tie that was felt in the days following this tragedy and it wasn’t just because of our geographic proximity to the city. Around here, there’s talk sometimes about being “One Carolina”. Most of the time it comes out when sports are involved, but it rang especially true in the wake of what occurred on a Wednesday night in June one year ago.

Here in the South, we have a rich history that is soaked with the reality of past segregation, discrimination, and countless other atrocities that continues to show its ugly face in our current society. Days after this tragedy, the people of Charleston and the survivors of the Charleston Nine exhibited strength and grace that inspired me and countless others. As Time Magazine put it so perfectly, “…instead of war, Charleston erupted in grace, led by the survivors of the Emanuel Nine.”Continue Reading

TaKenya’s Story // Joy in the Mess Series {Guest Post}

June 16, 2016

Welcome back to the Joy in the Mess series! Being able to share the stories from some incredible women about finding God and joy in life’s messes has truly been inspirational. Today, I am happy to share TaKenya’s story. To check out the previous posts, check them out here.

I’ll never forget that morning. August 24, 2014 it was just after 3 am. My phone rang. The phone that was normally powered off when I hit the sack.

If either of us were to leave our phone on over night it would be my husband. His grandparents are older and he worries that someone may call and not get him. Bu this night he powered off.

I looked at the phone and answered it, and she said “baby where’s your husband?” Half sleep I handed over the phone.

It was his mother and even though I rolled over I remained slightly awake. With my back turned I felt his body go limp and he let out a loud but muffled grunt.

I knew it wasn’t good.
He remained composed and said “ok, ok here I come ” and hung up.

As he fell into my arms that were now waiting open sitting next to him, he cried. I’d only seen that less than a hand full of times in my 21 years of knowing him.

He blurted out, “Marty’s gone”.Continue Reading

Where She Lived Last

June 13, 2016

Last week, I came across a blog post that Rory Feek had written and shared about a visit he and his daughter had made back to Indiana for the first time since his wife, Joey Feek, passed from cancer back in March. The strength and faith that these two exhibited touched so many all around the world. As I read Rory’s post, I was struck when he shared something that his father-in-law said when they went back to Joey’s childhood home and the place where she passed away.

Then we all went across the pond and Bill opened up the house for us that we had stayed in while we were there those last few months in Indiana. Joey’s daddy had come to that house often he said. Most days he stops by and just sits outside. “This is where I feel Joey the most”, he told us, ‘…where she lived last”. But he’d not been inside since that day in March when his daughter left us, exactly three months before.

It’s amazing sometimes to think about the things that tie us to certain places. When a particular place is full of happy memories, going back and reminiscing is a joyful thing. When a place is marked with sadness, we want to block it from our lives and memories completely. When it comes to losing someone so precious to us, I think we sometimes feel a little of both sides. On the one hand, the places where our loved ones left this earth is marked with an unimaginable sadness because they are no longer with us but on the other, we can be filled with joy that this was where they lived last and went to go be with the Lord.

I found myself struck by Joey’s father’s description of the home as “where she lived last.” Back in September, when my family lost my grandmother and my aunt less than 48 hours apart, so much of this little North Carolina town became marked with a wide range of emotions and memories. This town, barely a blip on the map and so easy to pass right through, was a place that held so many of my happiest childhood (and young adult) memories. But now, this hospital that was a few miles down the road became the place where my grandmother breathed her last. This exit off Interstate 85, one that we never really had to take to get where we were headed, was the place where we lived as we prepared ourselves for her passing. My grandmother’s home, where I had spent many a weekend and holiday with my family, became the place where my aunt left this earth in the middle of night, just a few hours before her mother’s funeral.Continue Reading

When Our Messy Milestones Turn into Miracles // Joy in the Mess Series {Guest Post}

June 2, 2016

I am so happy to share Trice’s story with you all today as part of my Joy in the Mess guest post series! God does incredible things amid the “messes” of our lives and I love being able to share some of those with you all through these incredible women. Be sure to check out Trice’s blog and social media handles down below!

I remember that day so clearly I looked around and saw all of my peers some were crying, others had huge smiles on their faces and here I was just torn. “Presenting the Class of 2008!!” and just like that high school was over, there was no going back this was it. While most of my classmates were hugging and throwing their caps in the air I was standing there crying. I had a plan, I was going to attend college at Liberty University and major in Nursing and then become a neonatal intensive care nurse at our local hospital. My plan was solid, I had the support of my family and friends and all I had to do was pass my classes and get my degree. I met my parents after the graduation ceremony and we took the usual graduation photos and went over dinner plans for later that day.
I remember my father asking to drive me around to my car but I just wanted to walk of course my Aunt insisted that I ride with her to the next parking lot. As soon as we reached my car I jumped out and got into my car, as I started driving away a wave of depression washed over me. I was slowly learning that no matter how solid my plan was for my future I wasn’t ready for this part of my life to end. I had been battling depression for a few months leading up to graduation but I figured that it was me just stressing over my next step in life.
Summer came and went and before I knew it my father was moving me into my dorm on campus and although we lived ten minutes away from campus I insisted that I lived on campus. After we got my room set up my father hugged me and prayed over me. Depression always had a way of sneaking back into my life at the most inopportune times, here I was at the school I wanted to attend majoring in Business and I still wasn’t happy. I wasn’t comfortable with the intense nursing program at the school and fear caused me to take the easy way out. My father always wanted a business major in the family and I was going to be the one to get that degree. Fear and depression ate away at my spirit bit by bit and by the spring semester I was not only failing out of college but I had once again changed my major back to Nursing. I honestly didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life, I knew for sure that I wasn’t happy and I wasn’t able to articulate what I was feeling on the inside. After many conversations with my father we decided it was best that I leave Liberty University and attend the community college.
The summer of 2009 was very tense, my depression was getting worse and my father couldn’t understand how I could almost fail out of college considering that I always had good grades in high school. On the inside I knew I wasn’t applying myself to my studies like I should but I wasn’t content with studying business or nursing. I knew that I had to attend college and that I had to figure something out soon. In the midst of the darkest season of my life God brought a shining light into my life. I started volunteering at my churches summer camp and I fell in love with those kids. Something amazing happened when I started working with the kids, life started to become brighter. But now here I am considering changing my major once again and ultimately taking a huge pay cut in my future job opportunities.
My family was very supportive during this time in my life they understood that I needed to figure things out and that it was going to take time. The fall of 2009 I began attending our local community college and school became easy for me, I was able to meet some amazing people and I fell in love with teaching.
In 2013 I graduated with a degree in Early Childhood Education and a 4.0 GPA with honors! Looking back on my college experience I still feel the shame and guilt of not graduating on time but I understand that God had to work on me. I had to learn how to manage my depression and ultimately I had to learn to trust in God and know that his timing was perfect. What I considered a messy milestone turned out to be one of the greatest miracles in my life.
I am truly thankful for my experience and I am no longer ashamed of what I went through.

Meet Trice:

Trice’s Blog // Instagram // Personal Instagram

Miranda’s Story // Joy in the Mess {Guest Post}

May 19, 2016

Today I am excited to share Miranda’s story with you all as part of the Joy in the Mess Guest Post series!

When the unexpected happens, how do you react? Do you throw an adult version of a temper tantrum, which can include all sorts of reactions?

I know my share of pain. I have a husband in prison for a crime he didn’t commit, who left behind our two young kids. My kids have been taken away from me, I got them back. I have body issues since I have been overweight for most of my adult life. I have been through a lot of pain in my life.

I have recently been told that I act like I am mad at the world. Ouch, as much as it pains me to say, it is true. Have I lost my joy? I firmly believe that God has a purpose for this trial and that He is going to get us through, but one some days it is hard to find joy when your heart is breaking constantly for my kids who are growing up without their father. He also was the primary caregiver of the family while I stayed at home with the kids, so we have depend on our families to take care of us.

I have to remember that my strength comes from the Lord and that He is going to take care of us. I need to remember to take time each morning and give Him thanks for all of my blessings.

Without giving thanks to the Lord, how can we truly be thankful. Just being here to read this post is reason enough to be thankful. I once heard that a way to be thankful is to write out your blessings on a page and read over them each morning as a prayer to start you day. What a beautiful way to start your day!!

We must always be in constant praise of the Lord for all that He has done for us. If you can’t find a reason to be thankful for, start looking small. For me although I don’t have a house to call my own (we live with my parents), I am so thankful that my kids and I have bed to sleep on each night. We have food everyday and don’t go hungry. We have our health. We have people to help and support us daily.

If we are not in constant praise, our lives will start to get stale and our faith will become stagnant. This is what I believe I have let happen in my faith over the past couple of weeks. Just because I am upset over my circumstances, doesn’t mean I did to be mad. I need to find joy in the little things and always be in constant praise of the Lord.

About Miranda:

I am a Christian wife, mother living in Texas going through a difficult time in life. My goal is to help others going through trials and helping them overcome it and realize that the Lord is in complete control. You can connect with her on her blog at http://www.mirandamiller.net

Social Media:

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/mirandamillerwriter

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/mirandamiller03

Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/mirandamiller03

Pinterest: http://www.pinterest.com/mirandamiller03

Seeing Jesus in Our Enemies

May 16, 2016

There’s a sentence that I have underlined in my copy of Simply Tuesday. Written by one of my favorite Christian authors, Emily P. Freeman, it is one of my absolutely favorite Christian books and the sentence reads;

“The way God moves on earth is through the hands and eyes and feet of people-both the ones I’m naturally drawn to and the ones who get on my nerves.”

While I don’t necessarily remember what my mindset was when I was originally reading those words, when I stumbled on them a few months later as I idly flipped through the book (anyone else do this with their favorite books?), I paused. To be completely transparent with you, I don’t always want to think of God moving within the people that get on my nerves. How could God possibly be moving in a person that absolutely makes me want to pull my hair out? Sometimes I’d much rather think that it’s Satan that’s causing them to behave in such a way than believe that it’s actually God who is at work.

As followers of Christ, we are called to be like Jesus every day of our lives. It’s an impossible feat when you get to the very core of the idea, but it’s a beautiful thing to aspire to be and it’s one of the best callings that we have on this Earth. To be like Jesus is to be gentle, compassionate, and giving (just to name a few) to all. Not just to the people that make it easy to be and feel those things. The last thing I want to do is to be giving to someone who tries my patience or loves to ride my last nerve but hey, no one ever said this was an easy calling to receive.

After all, we all know that person. That one person that just knows all of the right things to say and do to drive you crazy. When I am at my worst, I will let this person completely rattle me and throw me off of my game entirely. I will spend more time venting to anyone who will listen about everything this person does to make me insane than actually taking the high road. It may feel better to complain about a situation than acting upon it, but it doesn’t get you very far in the long run. The Bible tells us, “Fools vent their anger, but the wise quietly hold it back.” (Proverbs 29:11, NLT)

I don’t know about you, but I tend to fall into the “foolish” category more often than I care to admit.

As much as I don’t want to believe it, God is working within those that cause us frustration, anxiety, or just downright annoyance. It’s with the lens of these ugly emotions that I am better able to see all of the areas in my life that need Jesus the most. When I allow myself to pause and dissect what exactly is causing me to have such a short fuse, I don’t usually enjoy what I find. So often, it’s my own insecurities as well as stress and exhaustion that lead me astray. The Bible tell us in James 1:19-20 (NIV), “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

Now admittedly, sometimes what I really want to say to that is, “Okay God, I hear you…but have you actually met this person? Do you see what I’m having to deal with here?” But that wouldn’t be very Christ-like, now would it? Clearly God has met these people. He created them for a purpose, just as He did with all of us.

God does desire righteousness for us and I do believe that He moves within all of the people in our lives. He brings particular people into our lives in particular seasons for particular purposes. The people that challenge us and frustrate us are often, in my own life at least, the very things that are helping to unearth and expose all of the areas in which I still (and always will) need Jesus.