Moving

Fear and Truth

As I look back and reflect on the path that this blog has taken, I can’t help but smile at little at the randomness of it all.

Admittedly, I’m probably not the best blogger because of that. I guess you could consider this a “lifestyle blog” but most days it just seems like a peek at the inside of my brain – random, discombobulated thoughts floating around with no true sense of focus or direction. Okay, that might be an exaggeration, but still.

Community, Rhythms, and Other Thoughts on Moving

I’m not entirely sure when the shift happened, but there was one. In 2015/2016 as my faith and my relationship with the Lord planted roots and grew deeper, a lot of my posts reflected that. When I go back and re-read them, I remember how I felt the Holy Spirit giving me all of those words and just feeling like I needed to share them. I remember being in the days and weeks after my grandmother and aunt were called home to Heaven less than 48 hours apart from each other and just feeling like I needed to write down the things that were being revealed to me in the wake of all of that. The words that the Holy Spirit gave to me would serve as a beautiful piece of my story – a story marked, yes, by grief and loss but also of tremendous hope and healing.

But at some point, the journey shifts from grieving and into healing. And in my case, when I began to enter that phase, I realized that I didn’t feel led to write near as often. It’s been an adjustment and honestly a bit of an “identity crisis” of sorts.

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Community, Rhythms, and Other Thoughts on Moving

And suddenly there were just four days left. Four days until I fill my car one last time and make the drive from Charlotte to Raleigh. Wasn’t it just yesterday that I had no idea what this Fall was going to hold and I thought that I would be packing a car bound for Illinois and grad school?

Community, Rhythms, and Other Thoughts on Moving

I’ve been laughing to/at myself for weeks thinking about how much of a wreck I would be if that was actually the path that God decided to keep me on. The amount of feelings and anxiety I’ve had about just simply moving 2.5 hours away? I can’t even imagine what that’d be like if I were moving 12 hours away. You’d find me rocking in a corner somewhere. But even that, like so much in these past few weeks/months, is something to rejoice in. Even though I felt so strongly just six months ago that my path was going to take me to Illinois, I love and serve a God who protected my heart through rejections and lovingly led me to this current path to Raleigh which was an answered prayer just two-ish years “late.” I used to pray and yearn for a way to make the Raleigh area my home just a couple of years ago and clearly, God’s plans were to make a way for me there much later than what I thought. Thank goodness for timing and plans that are not my own. I can’t help but believe that He knew that my heart just wasn’t ready for that massive of a change. He knew how much it would take for me to pick up and move 2.5 hours away. It’s been a recurring theme throughout my story and my walk with Him – He is constantly guiding me but hemming me in with His perfect peace and protection….

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